(3) Gratitude
- By Ruth calder Murphy -
It felt so big,
when it was taken
- even temporarily taken -
so big,
that it must surely leave a trench
the size of Mariana,
to be filled with oceans of saline,
one tear at a time…
It felt so big
- so much a part of me,
that I would be diminished irreparably
by its absence...
Yet, all unexpectedly,
the trench is being
- daily -
filled
with gratitude for what is left,
for what is in me still to do
- for all I have and am
and for the dawning knowledge
that even when I can’t,
I can,
in ways I didn’t realise before.
It felt so big and crashing-loud,
like the slamming of a door
before the bolts are shut,
but I think it was the stamping of my pride,
the recalcitrant part
of my ego-heart,
that shouted out,
held fast to think awhile alone,
while the rest of me
(I realised eventually)
was free to leave
and do, and be…
So,
now I see,
through inconvenience and injury,
the blessings saturating me on every side -
and filling petulant,
vacated space
with unexpected grace.
Image: Kate on the Rooftop by Ruth Calder Murphy